Reclaiming the Next 20 Years
The last couple of years have been fucking rough.
I know that’s true of a lot of people for a lot of reasons. But for me, it’s been largely related to recovery from an abusive situation.
Recovery is a tough road. Regardless of what you’re recovering from. And this has been no different.
My life was sort of flipped upside down, then shaken and jostled on repeat for a couple of years until I was sort of thrown out of the container completely. Unceremoniously.
The path of healing from everything that transpired has been difficult. And slow. And often painful. And to this day, it is still quite uncertain.
Because healing is not a destination, and recovery is not a finish line. It’s an ongoing, continuous process.
A process I engage with regularly. And ritually.
If you’ve been following me on socials or subscribed to my podcast or email list for long, you know I proudly proclaim myself an atheist. We could say spiritual atheist, atheist witch, or secular spiritualist.
But I very specifically use the word atheist. Intentionally. And I have never outlined my actual beliefs. Though others have definitely tried to combat me using the word atheist, considering some of my spiritually-based practices. But without knowing what I do and don’t believe, because, again, I’ve never outlined that, it’s clear that they’re always projecting their own spiritual concepts upon me.
Which, like, is a totally normal, human thing to do. And just reinforces my need to utilize the language I choose on purpose.
That said, I do, in fact, engage in many spiritually-centered practices. One of which is a monthly new moon ritual. And this last one? It was a beautiful turning point in my healing journey.
Whether or not you’re into astrology, you’ve probably heard at least SOMEONE talk about Pluto moving into Aquarius. Though there are nuances to this, it’s basically a 20-year situation that last took place during the time of the American and French revolutions. So, a lot of folks are looking around at the state of the world and assuming this will mean a series of uprisings and collective shift of power dynamics for the power of the people.
Though I can’t see into the future and cannot tell you what — if anything — this planetary shift will mean for our local and global populations, what I can tell you is that it provides an excellent opportunity to ask ourselves whether the path we’re on is the path we want to be on for the next 20 years.
This question was the foundation for my own new moon ritual last Friday.
This is how I use astrology and spirituality in my personal and professional life.
The archetypes provide a catalyst to consider the big questions and get clear on my own answers.
And I’d like to invite you into that process with me. For the first time.
Here’s the question: For the next 20 years, do you want the life you have today?
I don’t mean in a Groundhog Day situation whereby you repeat today for the next 20 years. But if you look around at your life right now, is that the life you want to continue living for the next two decades?
If so, why? What are the aspects of your life that you’d like to continue experiencing as they are or build upon and strengthen?
If not, why not? But, like, specifically. Not “everything sucks, and I want to burn it all down.” What about your life right now do you want to make sure you change over the course of the next 20 years because you don’t want to repeat it? And is that actually in your control to change? (If so, how?)
When I used this line of questioning within my own new moon ritual last Friday, starting with “For the next 20 years, do I want the life I have today?” my answer was a resounding YES.
For the first time in quite a while, I’m looking around at my life, and I genuinely love what I see.
While I was inside of the abusive situation I found myself in a few years ago, I tried to create changes that I had no control over. And I weaponized that against myself in ways that took a long time to see clearly.
In assuming responsibility for what wasn’t mine, I handed over the power I did have — the power to control my own emotional well-being, the power to care for my own mental health, the power to regulate and expand the capacity of my own nervous system.
During that time period, I refused to believe what I saw and convinced myself that it was something else. And I wasn’t alone in that.
In the time since, I’ve had to dismantle a lot of my internal beliefs in ways that have been wildly uncomfortable. (Not that such work is ever super comfy!) I’ve spoken out against abusive practices in ways that keep me legally protected. And I’ve developed relationships and connections with others who have had similar experiences.
And though it sometimes still feels a bit unstable, the life I have today is absolutely the life I want to continue living for the next 20 years.
When I did my new moon ritual last Friday, and I asked myself the question about whether I want my “today life” for the next 20 years; here are the things I took intentional notice of from the couple of days before and after, in order to determine my answer:
I spent much of Friday planning two retreats — one here in Kansas City for my SellingU Mastermind clients and one I’m co-hosting with a friend and brilliant marketing consultant/psychic medium in the Bordeaux region of France.
I currently have the privilege and honor of regularly coaching some of my favorite clients I’ve ever had.
I take self-care seriously. Including, but not limited to, having my hair cut and colored on Friday and getting pedicures with my mom on Saturday.
I spend intentional time with people I love — my partner, my friends, my family members. These relationships don’t just happen by default. I consciously make an effort to develop and nurture them.
I take the same intentionality to my relationships with my clients and collaborators.
I’m committed to treating my body well — nourishing foods, moving in ways that feel good, spending time outside, processing emotions, caring for my nervous system, and adorning it in ways I enjoy.
I take pleasure in creating spaces within my home that honor both myself and my partner.
Professionally, there are goals I have. I want to add more retreats into my business model, so my focus is shifting a bit in that direction while doing so within the context of my current offers. I’ve adjusted the pricing for the SellingU Mastermind to reflect this difference and to allow the annual planning we do to be open to the Community level, as well. I’m committed to at least one Reclamation Weekend retreat within Project Reclamation each year (though I plan to increase that in future years). And I’m adding an offer for a private VIP 1:1 retreat for my current clients.
Relationships are the most important thing to me — personal relationships, professional relationships, and the relationship I have with myself. So, most of my focus goes there. And that’s where I want most of my focus.
And doing it all in surroundings that look and feel good to me is crucial. Blame my Libra sun for that if you’d like. I need things to be beautiful. And organized, thanks to my Virgo rising.
The life I’m living today is absolutely the life I want to live for the next 20 years. It’s the life I want to build upon and expand in various ways. There’s nothing I want to eliminate.
Do you want your “today life” to be the life you’re living for the next 20 years?
If not, it’s time to make some changes.
And I’d love to help you with that.
I currently have space for two additional 1:1 clients on my roster.
Project Reclamation — the equitable, self-coaching community — is open for ongoing enrollment.
SellingU — both the Community membership and Mastermind levels — has enrollment available right now for our 2024 cohort, which starts in March.
The Bordeaux retreat is officially open to the public.
And if you want more info on the 1:1 retreat offer or the body-focused Reclamation Weekend retreat coming up in June, just email or DM me. We’ll talk about it.
The life you’re living today is the life you’re going to be living for the next 20 years.
That can be by default, and nothing changes.
Or it can be an intentional choice, strengthening the pieces you want to keep and shifting the pieces you don’t.
Which way will you create the next 20 years of your life?
